Dr. Stupid World (Or Why I Hope We're Still Evolving Because Our 'Intelligent Designer' Is Kinda Dumb) -- No. 2

I should have known that cataloging the actions of stupid, unevolved people would have given me ample fodder to post every minute on the minute.

The Columbia Christians for Life studied radar patterns of the Hurricane Katrina and have decided that they resemble a fetus in the early weeks of gestation. The press release they opportunistically released Monday as hurricane victims struggled to literally stay afloat (some of them trying to find their ALREADY BORN children) states:

The image of the hurricane above with its eye already ashore at 12:32 PM Monday, August 29 looks like a fetus (unborn human baby) facing to the left (west) in the womb, in the early weeks of gestation (approx. 6 weeks). Even the orange color of the image is reminiscent of a commonly used pro-life picture of early prenatal development (see sign with picture of 8-week pre-born human child below). In this picture, and in another picture in today's on-line edition of USA Today*, this hurricane looks like an unborn human child. (via Eva's Apple

It's right to assume that the Columbia Christians for Life also want to force the teaching of 'Intelligent Design' in our public schools. Funny that an intelligent designer would free up so much brain space in his/her creations as to cram in a lot of ignorance.

Now, from Charles Darwin, who might be on to something, especially in light of this sorry use of a national crisis as an opportunity to further one's political goals (hmm, when have we seen that before?):

The highest possible stage in moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.

Chuck, as you're rolling in your grave, let me make an addendum to that, "The highest possible stage in moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts (my part is next) ... and, from time to time, shut our mouths."

Dr. Stupid World (Or Why I Hope We're Still Evolving Because Our 'Intelligent Designer' Is Kinda Dumb) -- No. 1

Consider this feature to be the textbook the Kansas Board of Education wouldn't let you see. Each edition of Dr. Stupid World will bring you more reasons to hope that we're still growing as a species and not at the magic touch of some "intelligent designer" because -- if such a designer exists -- (s)he got his/her education from one of those courses they advertise on late-night TV.

This week's reason I would rather still be a monkey combines a little religion and a little politics, just 'cause I'm celebrating this new feature:



Creature Preacher

Do you have proof we've not evolved all the way yet? Post a comment or email me.

And I thought the ones that sold lip gloss and fake tattoos were cool...

I love vending machines. Ever since I was six and randomly pushed a button and got a free TAB from a Best Western motel machine (yes, I drank TAB at six, which may explain why I frequently trip on flat surfaces and scare quite easily), I've loved the idea of viewing a colorful array of goods behind glass. I love that you can have a transaction without human contact (course, now I can shop on the Internet.) And, though I have to say I rarely actually BUY any snacks from the machine at work, when I go to get myself a Diet Coke, I always like to take a peek at the snack machine: Just knowing that I CAN get yogurt-covered raisins (which I can't fathom ever, ever wanting) makes me feel good. It must be my survivalist instinct: If I get trapped in my building, so long as I have correct change, I can dine for weeks on pretzels, peanut M&Ms, Sun-Chips, cinnamon buns and Hershey bars. (I'd probably draw the line at pork rinds, though they might be good for starting a fire if the heat goes out.)

But leave it to the French to give me a case of vending machine-envy. I love books. I love mechanical arms that pick things up and drop them nicely into a chute, like this machine purports to do. And I love vending machines.



So how much do I want to return to Paris right now to buy a copy of "The Flowers of Evil" or "The Wok Cookbook"? Or the French translation of "Alice in Wonderland"? (By the way, the French translation of the slogan on the machine is "Books at any hour!" Pretty much my ideal world.)

FYI, I liked the French before this, so it's not the TAB talking when I say we should take a cue from them on this one. Easily-bought books available at public transportation stops make so much sense it's funny they've not been available before now. And in an age where people want DVD players in their minivans and ESPN on their cell phones (there's a post coming on that later), the idea of something as simple as a vending machine seeming like an innovation of the future is sort of, um, novel?

(The pun? That was the TAB talking.)

Call me. I know a guy...

(via memepool)

PokerFaceBook.com 'bumvertising' campaign is either the most socially-responsible or the most exploitative advertising mechanism in years.

I think you'll all know what view I take when I tell PokerFaceBook.com that my finder's fee is small: I'll be glad to lead you to the most ubiquitous bums in downtown L.A. Though the one I have in mind might need a sandwich-board sign, as his hands are full holding up his burlap pants.

Oh, so it can be done....

Ron Gremban has probably been working on this "plug-in" Prius long before gas prices became an issue.

And what about Prof. Andy Frank?

University of California, Davis engineering professor Andy Frank built a plug-in hybrid from the ground up in 1972 and has since built seven others, one of which gets up to 250 mpg. They were converted from non-hybrids, including a Ford Taurus and Chevrolet Suburban. (via CNN.com)

1972. It's nearly a quarter-century since Frank built his first plug-in car. And it's been four years since he and his students participated in the first friendly U.S. competition (called Challenge Bibendum) to compare advanced-technology vehicles. Compare! That means -- and I'm speaking to you, President Bush and all those talking solely about hydrogen-based technology (speaking to you without making eye contact because your blinking makes me dizzy) -- there are multiple possibilities for hybrid vehicles. But even though this competition's been held since 2001 (since you took office, Bushie, by coincidence or on purpose?), has the Crawford Cowboy even scheduled a photo-op at Bibendum, much less paid attention to it?

It amazes me that Americans really could have given a shit about hybrids and electric cars until they had to forgo their 7-11 Slurpee because gas prices topped $2.50 a gallon. Oh, wait, that doesn't amaze me at all. Our wallets, our leisure, our pleasure, our "need" to hog the road, pollute the sky and get the luxury SUV so the kids don't have to sit too close together in the backseat are far more important in the here-and-now than what might happen to the earth in the then-and-later.

There are some of us who -- while the savings on gas would be a sweet bonus -- actually would like to drive and advocate a fuel-efficient, possibly hybridized, car because it might keep the planet in about the same condition it is right now and, oh, give us one less thing to go to war over.

Instead, as Frank says, Bush turns the focus to distractions, like hydrogen cars, which, while not a bad idea, is a long way off.

"They'd rather work on something that won't be in their lifetime, and that's this hydrogen economy stuff," Frank said. "They pick this kind of target to get the public off their back, essentially."

Instead, to keep us in the dark, our 'bright' leaders are giving us a little more light:

Daylight savings time may leave kids in the dark (via Boston Herald)

Another bonus for Bush & Co.? The darkness is one more way to explain our students' low test scores. At least teaching 'intelligent design' (HA! An intelligent 'designer' would have figured out the fossil fuel question long ago...) is more simplistic than evolution...

Bob Novak outed as shady asshole. Oh, wait, we knew that already.

Beware: The pundit/administration suck-up/old codger is angrier than usual. Guess that's what happens when you try to defend the indefensible.

Watch the video at Media Matters.

Even the way he's leaving the table reminds me of a cranky old man who's just been told he's ten minutes late for the Early Bird Special.

"This is bullshit. My cranky ass hates that. Forget you guys, I'm going home."